Thread: Loss of motivation, stuck on listening to music and the internet

I wish I could rekindle some older interests. Why is it that I used to be so interested in what different elements can do, what planets and stars are made of, or how different animal species are classified, and even speculating about these things? If I had remained interested in these things, I might have a more practical and useful life path ahead of me than I seem to now. Even fiction, its boring to me these days. I struggled through David Copperfield a year and a half ago, and was rather proud of myself, but since then, my ambitions of becoming better read have amounted to very little. Occasionally I can force myself to watch a film and enjoy it. Even within music, as much as I'd like to learn new pieces, compose, all I seem to be able to do is listen and evaluate. And whenever I become interested romantically in someone, I can't do much for myself.

Such a stale period of my life. Homework is a pain. Perhaps I should declare a leave of absence from talkclassical. I tried to a while back, now I think I'll make it official.

We should leave TC together and do some mutual hobbies!

I thought I'd reply to this just because I feel the same. Before university (English degree), I was great at maths and even considered getting into astrophysics, but, while I still love watching the odd documentary, my engagement isn't as active as it once was. The same is true of other topics. I wonder if it's just that thing of getting older and realising just how much there is that you can't know? Because of that, I'm left with the feeling that I ought to really focus in on something esoteric (Old English!) and become an expert, rather than try to juggle a passing interest in so many things that I simply wouldn't have the time to cultivate a reasonable knowledge of any of them.

Originally Posted by clavichorder

I wish I could rekindle some older interests. Why is it that I used to be so interested in what different elements can do, what planets and stars are made of, or how different animal species are classified, and even speculating about these things? If I had remained interested in these things, I might have a more practical and useful life path ahead of me than I seem to now. Even fiction, its boring to me these days. I struggled through David Copperfield a year and a half ago, and was rather proud of myself, but since then, my ambitions of becoming better read have amounted to very little. Occasionally I can force myself to watch a film and enjoy it. Even within music, as much as I'd like to learn new pieces, compose, all I seem to be able to do is listen and evaluate. And whenever I become interested romantically in someone, I can't do much for myself.

Such a stale period of my life. Homework is a pain. Perhaps I should declare a leave of absence from talkclassical. I tried to a while back, now I think I'll make it official.

It looks to me like the problems you're referring to are deeper than whether or not spending time on TalkClassical is desirable for you right now. Maybe you should see someone and discuss this - parents, a school counselor, priest, psychotherapist, whoever fits your situation and has earned your trust. Good luck!

I know what you are talking about and such marasm troubles me since years. Many years I could say, their number is not impressive by itself but considering what part of my life they make it becames even scary.

All I can tell you is that you should better fix it, otherwise, belive me, you will be tormented with bitter regrets. If you have possibility to do something valueable - like practicing you musical skills - then do it or get to the point when you will loathe yourself for wasting precious opportunities that you had. There are many ways of forcing yourself and the strongest one (but also the most woeful) is realization of what you have lost. It's better to get there by strong will than wait for whip to painfully wake you up.

join a club at your school and attend weekly meetings, preferably something non-intellectual

Originally Posted by Almaviva

It looks to me like the problems you're referring to are deeper than whether or not spending time on TalkClassical is desirable for you right now. Maybe you should see someone and discuss this - parents, a school counselor, priest, psychotherapist, whoever fits your situation and has earned your trust. Good luck!

Alma, you forgot to mention Dutch Uncle.

Working with the little data I have re Clavi, I can only suggest several months of Hard Physical Labor, plenty of nourishing food, no booze, too tired for the first month to do anything after supper but go to bed. No keyboard, no music except Bach - when you can stay awake long enough to listen.

It sounds (no offence) like you have a self-discipline problem. Have you tried making yourself accountable to another person? Other than that I have to agree with Aramis up there.

The pig has a good thought re hobbies.

Part of the problem is choice fatigue. When we have access to so many things we could give our attention to it's hard to focus on one thing. But I don't know what the solution is to 'too many options'.

Originally Posted by Almaviva

Maybe you should see someone and discuss this - parents, a school counselor, priest, psychotherapist, whoever fits your situation and has earned your trust. Good luck!

Re Alma
The problem is, my parents are worn out with me, my good friend and mentor doesn't know what to say about my situation other than that I'm impatient and hard on myself and that I have shown that I'm exceptionally good at avoiding burdensome tasks which are an inevitability(I know this intellectually, but somehow I feel uninspired by that knowledge), and I have a therapist, have had two in my life, and I never know what it amounts to. If I could use TC in moderation, I would, but I find myself waiting for the next thing to happen whenever I post. Its a sort of attention craving thing, and enjoying when people agree with me. That's a problem unto itself that has grown large enough that it overlaps with my other motivational problem, but it comes from a different source, you are right. Still, it wouldn't hurt for me to be off for a while.

Re Hilltroll, I am often tempted to embark on some radical change into a more physically exhausting lifestyle, no kidding. Concerning hard labor, I was really tempted to work with Washington trails this year, but a family plan got in the way. If I fail my math again this quarter, should I go back and take it yet again? Or should I do something radically different than community college? I feel that things must change.

Re Aramis, I have developed a self preservative capacity, with good medication, to not regret sometimes that I failed at this and that, and to be somewhat, just somewhat content over nothing, excepting not having quite the social life I sometimes crave. It is true that sometimes my standards are too high and I do nothing because of it. Somehow I have to find a middle ground, preferably closer to the higher end of achievement.

Re Polednice

I understand exactly what you are saying about delving into the esoteric. That may just be a natural progression of things with certain personalities, I don't know what it means, or if its more good than bad, or vice versa.

Re Philip

That could be a fantastic idea actually. Perhaps I'll poke my nose around campus today since I'm here. Usually I just slack off chatting with people in the music room lobby.

Originally Posted by Klavierspieler

It sounds (no offence) like you have a self-discipline problem. Have you tried making yourself accountable to another person? Other than that I have to agree with Aramis up there.

It certainly boils down to that. Its why I don't have a diploma. As for making myself accountable to another person, I sometimes work for the instrument builder Jack Peters when he needs me if that's what you mean, he's a task master and I just do what he says. I would like to be able to do something for myself as well though.

Originally Posted by Chris

Part of the problem is choice fatigue. When we have access to so many things we could give our attention to it's hard to focus on one thing. But I don't know what the solution is to 'too many options'.

Its true, there's just too much. This connects to Polednice's post. This actually makes me feel hopeful that I can have flaming passion for something, its just that no one thing seems better than the other anymore except for listening to music. There's one book I want to read, but then there's another. There's one piece, then another. Thus I don't start. There's one subject that inspires me, but there's too much info and will I have enough mental energy to go on with my day? It'll just make me depressed when I get distracted and can't concentrate. And I don't exercise anymore.

Re Phillip again

I went and got a flyer of the different clubs at my school. Several appealing clubs and other extracurricular things. There's a piano club and a soccer club which might be of interest. For things, there seems to be a group that goes to and sees plays and movies and watches films. There's also a Concert Band. These all sound interesting enough to try.

Becoming a opera fan and joining TC had a similar effect on me. I lost interest things I used to care about, maybe too much. But they weren't ever really important things, television, movies, fantasy novels and video games. I think thats kind of positive, except now I don't really connect with my friends and family like I used to, none of them are fans and so they don't really get my facination. I guess thats why I'm on TC almost constantly now. All I want to do is listen to music and sing.

Originally Posted by CountessAdele

Becoming a opera fan and joining TC had a similar effect on me. I lost interest things I used to care about, maybe too much. But they weren't ever really important things, television, movies, fantasy novels and video games. I think thats kind of positive, except now I don't really connect with my friends and family like I used to, none of them are fans and so they don't really get my facination. I guess thats why I'm on TC almost constantly now. All I want to do is listen to music and sing.

I think im slowly starting to catch the opera fascination now. I cant stop listening to Lazarus, granted its a choral or sacred type of work, but to me it will only be a matter of weeks (maybe days) before I decide to actually watch an opera, and forever doom my life to being a shut-in Opera addict.