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Thread: My Third Composition

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    Senior Member chillowack's Avatar
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    Default My Third Composition

    Still continuing my emulation of Mozart. This time I began in a minor key, then switched to a major. I also tried several new stylistic devices, albeit somewhat imperfectly. This piece still needs work, but it has been a useful learning experience.

    Please let me know what you think!
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    Not too bad.

    A couple of critiques:

    There are some questionable harmonies. The coda like section with the repeating melody (C Bb A C# D Ab G B) should have a more appropriate harmonic accompaniment, and the bass should move more elegantly with the melody (perhaps C E F E D F G D, in which the bass moves in contrary motion to the melody).

    And, I think that just sitting on an F chord as a transition to the relative major isn't quite enough. I think you could use some motives in sequence to bring your self to the major - and really you should use the V chord to move into the new key.

    Good work - especially for a 3rd piece! Keep it up.

    Scott

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    Senior Member chillowack's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Scott Good View Post
    Not too bad.

    A couple of critiques:

    There are some questionable harmonies. The coda like section with the repeating melody (C Bb A C# D Ab G B) should have a more appropriate harmonic accompaniment, and the bass should move more elegantly with the melody (perhaps C E F E D F G D, in which the bass moves in contrary motion to the melody).

    And, I think that just sitting on an F chord as a transition to the relative major isn't quite enough. I think you could use some motives in sequence to bring your self to the major - and really you should use the V chord to move into the new key.

    Good work - especially for a 3rd piece! Keep it up.

    Scott
    Thank you for these suggestions Scott, I appreciate them and I will take them into consideration.

    In particular I agree with you that I need more variety in the left hand, which is a critique others have made of my work as well. Also your suggestion of a more colorful transition is well-taken, I see this as a general area for improvement.

    Both of these items can be taken care of, I think, by closely studying Mozart's piano sonatas, which is my next step.

    I will keep your critiques in mind as I move forward, thanks again.

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