I am a composer and recently had one of my performances recorded on disc. Family and friends want to hear it but even though my music is more 'accessible' than for example some new complexity stuff. Even though my titles are catchy and the level of extended technique is minimal and even though there is usually a discernible beat, I know that none of my family or non-composer friends would know what it was or like it. I can see them trying to smile and thinking - what is all this 'out-of-tune crap' I can't follow?
It seems an obvious and I have grappled with this for years.
My question is:
Do you give the public what you perceive they want or do you ignore them and just go your own way?
Is it OK to be in an ivory tower working away just to your own ideals or ideals of art?
When I listen back to my music, one half of me thinks ' lovely chord, that section comes out well, should have doubled the flute there etc etc '
Whereas another part of my thinks 'I wish this was more direct the way some pop music is, more tonal, more noticeably melodic and less 'contrived', easier to follow. But then I also need to be interested in what I do. Three chords isn't enough for me on the other end of the spectrum.
My principle thought is 'I wish more people understood me and the emotions I so much want to express!'
I went to a university that was fairly open to all kinds of new music but still there was the intellectual elite who were into their math formulae and their obsession with so-called originality and I felt like an outsider, an inferior composer. I don't feel that way now but I still know there is a certain amount of stylistic fascism and pseudo - intellectual snobbery in composing circles. Composers also being so defensive of their work and doing down the work of others. Tended to be my experience.
Is there a another way to look at this? I'd love to hear what music-lovers out there have to say to this current composer.