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Thread: What would happen if Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert and Wagner met in Heaven?

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    Senior Member peeyaj's Avatar
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    Default What would happen if Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert and Wagner met in Heaven?

    Interesting Question.


    What do you think would happen if Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert and Wagner meet in Heaven?


    Hypothetically, these five great composers met in heaven and strike a conversation, what would you think it would be like? What would be demeanor of each of them? Would they greet each other, quarrel, have a debate?

    My hypothetical scenario would be..

    Bach would sit unmovingly, his radiance would probably made the others cringe. Beethoven would be silent, he can't hear anyone.. Schubert, a shy man he was, would be very nervous approaching Beethoven, while Mozart would just compose what he was thinking of. Wagner would watch them with contempt and a sneer to his face.



    Overall, it would be a grim and very uninteresting meeting for me.

    What do you think?? Be creative..

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    I think they would all start by fawning over Bach, but find him out to be a boring fraud and so abandon him, and then go off to argue about their varying musical ideals

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    Senior Member Weston's Avatar
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    This is quite fantasy scenario, assuming Wagner goes to heaven as it does. I'll have to suspend my disbelief quite a bit.

    Bach would merely urge them all to stop the idle chatter and get back to work.

    Mozart would try to get them all to play billiards. Failing that he runs off to find Frank Zappa so he can swap some new fart jokes.

    Beethoven would have his hearing restored since he is in heaven, and be so appalled at Wellington's Victory he leaves the group to try scratching his name off every copy.

    Schubert, unsuccessful at consoling Beethoven and disappointed at his leaving, walks off to find Papa Haydn instead.

    Since he is the only one left standing Wagner assumes this is a sign of his superiority.

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    Senior Member peeyaj's Avatar
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    @Weston

    I can't stop laughing.. Brilliant, sir..

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    They all sit down and hash out and play the best piano quintet. ever.

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    Well i'm sure after the whole "my music is solely for the glory of God" bit, Bach must have earned himself at least a seat at the head table, just a few seats down from Jesus, so he has more important people to talk to.

    The rest would turn to Wagner and ask, "And you are?"


    Wagner, infuriated, seeks out the head table. He sees God at the center and asserts: "You're in my seat".

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    Senior Member Almaviva's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Couchie View Post
    Well i'm sure after the whole "my music is solely for the glory of God" bit, Bach must have earned himself at least a seat at the head table, just a few seats down from Jesus, so he has more important people to talk to.

    The rest would turn to Wagner and ask, "And you are?"


    Wagner, infuriated, seeks out the head table. He sees God at the center and asserts: "You're in my seat".
    Spectacular!!!

    Very nice thread!
    "J'ai dit qu'il ne suffisait pas d'entendre la musique, mais qu'il fallait encore la voir" (Stravinsky)

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    Once the good archangels finish relocating Wagner to more appropriate residence, the others would look for Brahms.

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    Quote Originally Posted by science View Post
    Once the good archangels finish relocating Wagner to more appropriate residence, the others would look for Brahms.
    Brahms will be too busy finally making a move on Clara because Robert ended up in hell for that suicide attempt.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polednice View Post
    Brahms will be too busy finally making a move on Clara because Robert ended up in hell for that suicide attempt.
    He's too much of a gentelman, I'd bet, but he'll compose a fine work of music about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by science View Post
    He's too much of a gentelman, I'd bet, but he'll compose a fine work of music about it.
    With Beethoven around?! He'd be too scared of being inferior!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Polednice View Post
    With Beethoven around?! He'd be too scared of being inferior!
    That's a good point. Beethoven would probably want to keep it that way too.

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    Quote Originally Posted by science View Post
    That's a good point. Beethoven would probably want to keep it that way too.
    I'm sure Brahms wouldn't mind knowing his place with Beethoven above him, but I reckon they'd still mutter in a corner, bitching about Wagner.

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    Wagner always get a bad rap, isn't he?

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    Quote Originally Posted by peeyaj View Post

    What do you think would happen if Bach, Beethoven, Mozart, Schubert and Wagner meet in Heaven?
    Hmmm...

    All 5 of them would be together, and begin this discussion.

    Mozart: "So, Bach, what brings you here?"
    Bach: "Peaceful old age. You, Mozart?"
    Mozart: "Salieri killed me. I just knew it! And you Beethoven?"
    Beethoven: "What?"
    Mozart: "What?"
    Beethoven: "What? I didn't hear your question."
    Mozart: "What? Are you still deaf?"
    Beethoven: "Oh! Of course not! I'm just not used to listening to people in general. I died by long illness."
    Schubert: "Lucky. Mine was by mercury poisoning."
    Wagner: "HAHAHA!"
    Schubert: "Shut your mouth, Wagner, you don't even deserve to be here."
    Wagner: "Nor do you, Schubert."
    (pause)
    Beethoven: "...What?"

    "Music is an art, and art is forever. Music should not succumb to fashion, which is passing and forgotten."
    Glazunov


    Join TC's Official Russian Composer Fanclub!

    Oh, and, here's my professional website!

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