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Thread: Some Really Silly Jokes

  1. #421
    Senior Member EddieRUKiddingVarese's Avatar
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    "Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes"

  2. #422
    Senior Member starthrower's Avatar
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    Short-term thinkers are rewarded with reelection, while those who dare to take seriously our responsibility to future generations commonly find themselves out of office.

    - Marcia Bjornerud, Geologist

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  4. #423
    Senior Member Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    A woman is woken up at 4.30 in the morning by some strange noise downstairs.
    She tries to wake up her husband, but the other side of the bed is empty.
    Rather scared she screams: “Who's that in our house?”
    To her relief it turns out that the cause of the noise is not a burglar, but her husband.
    The noise continues for quite some time and the wife shouts down “What the hell are you doing down there?”
    The husband replies: “Oh nothing to worry about. I’m just trying to get a cask of beer up the stairs.”
    His wife is pretty fed up by now and yells: “For the love of God, will you leave that down there.”

    “I can’t”, the husband shouts back...........

    “I drank it.”
    I'm like my avatar .................. a local ruin

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  6. #424
    Senior Member EddieRUKiddingVarese's Avatar
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    "Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes"

  7. #425
    Senior Member EddieRUKiddingVarese's Avatar
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    I went to a wedding and they played "The Twist" so I did the Twist,.
    Then they played "Macerena" so I did the Macerena.
    Then they played "Come On Eileen".
    I was told to leave.

    Last edited by EddieRUKiddingVarese; Sep-03-2019 at 22:59.
    "Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes"

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  9. #426
    Senior Member geralmar's Avatar
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    [url=https://postimages.org/]

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  11. #427
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    Quote Originally Posted by Barbebleu View Post
    A guy with six kids was getting fed up with the family always squabbling about who would get the drumsticks when they were having a chicken dinner. So he got together with a geneticist and after some failures they eventually succeeded in crossing the chicken with an octopus.

    The only problem was they had no idea how it tasted because no one could catch the darn thing.
    I believe that joke was once told by Ronald Reagan. It's on U-Tube. That joke, or one very similar.
    Last edited by Christabel; Sep-05-2019 at 19:19.

  12. #428
    Senior Member Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    grandpa started walking Five miles a day when he was 60.

    Now he's 97 years old and we don't know where he's got to.
    I'm like my avatar .................. a local ruin

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  14. #429
    Senior Member EddieRUKiddingVarese's Avatar
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    "Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes"

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  16. #430
    Senior Member Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    Proctology - a career where you really do have to start at the bottom and work your way up.
    I'm like my avatar .................. a local ruin

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    Senior Member EddieRUKiddingVarese's Avatar
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    Why couldn't the string quartet find their composer? He was Haydn.
    "Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes"

  19. #432
    Senior Member EddieRUKiddingVarese's Avatar
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    what do you call a drummer with no girlfriend?


    homeless.
    "Everyone is born with genius, but most people only keep it a few minutes"

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  21. #433
    Senior Member KenOC's Avatar
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    How do you get a classical music composer off your porch?

    Pay for the pizza.


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  23. #434
    Senior Member Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    A taxi was driving down the high street when the passenger tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question.
    The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, narrowly missing pedestrians and stopped just short of a shop window.
    Everything went quiet in the cab then the driver said: "Look mate, don't ever do that again. You scared the living daylights out of me!"
    The passenger apologised and said he didn't realise that a little tap could scare him so much.
    The driver replied: "Sorry, it's not really your fault.
    Today is my first day as a cab driver ..... ......

    I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years."
    I'm like my avatar .................. a local ruin

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  25. #435
    Senior Member Jacck's Avatar
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    A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked.
    “Oh, I reckon about the same as short ones!” the farmer answered.

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