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Thread: Stupidest jokes (must be short and seemly)

  1. #1186
    Senior Member RockyIII's Avatar
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    Jan 2019
    North Carolina, USA
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    Have you heard the joke about the well? It's deep.

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  3. #1187
    Senior Member Pat Fairlea's Avatar
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    Dec 2015
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ingélou View Post
    At breakfast I was reading the obituary of the British comedian Jeremy Hardy, and one of his jokes quoted there really took my fancy:

    'I try to live every day as if it were my last - lying in bed, slipping in and out of consciousness.'

    I think why I like it is that the first part of the statement has become such a virtue-signalling cliché, which is then cut down to size.
    It's the same in my favourite fridge-magnet joke:

    Before you criticise anyone, you must walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, they'll be a mile away; and - you'll have their shoes!
    One of the late Mr Hardy's shortest and best was his stand-up line "I come from a big family. Mammals"

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  5. #1188
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    Default A silly C Major joke

    I thought I'd share a silly joke I thought up with you all, just to brighten your day a little.

    Teacher: You know that C Major uses only the white notes on a piano, no sharps, no flats. Do you understand why very few piano compositions are written in C Major?
    Student: Uh...because C Major only uses the white notes in its scale so therefore it's racist?
    Teacher: What am I going to do with you?

  6. #1189
    Senior Member Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    A thief entered a house mid-afternoon. He tied up the woman and at knife-point asked the man to hand over the jewelry and money. The man started sobbing and said, “You can take anything you want. You can kill me also. But please untie the rope and free her.”

    Thief: “You must really love your wife!”

    Man: “No, but she will be home shortly”.
    I'm like my avatar .................. a local ruin

  7. #1190
    Senior Member TxllxT's Avatar
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    Mar 2011
    Isle of Texel
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    Joke from the forgotten past.

    An American and a Soviet citizen are boasting about their great leaders.
    - Well, Hoover has unlearned our American citizens drinking. Therefore he is the greatest.
    - Mwah...., Stalin has unlearned our Soviet citizens eating. Therefore he is the greatest.
    All we like sheep

  8. #1191
    Senior Member haydnguy's Avatar
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    "When I said common sense I mean my sense. And that we should have that in common."
    Last edited by haydnguy; Feb-18-2019 at 22:49.
    Because of a recent move half my CD's are sitting in boxes somewhere in our new garage. I'm hiring two strong bodies to help me find them.

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