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Thread: Gripe of the Day thread.

  1. #856
    Senior Member Jacck's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamme View Post
    Had an argument with my sister where she was very harsh and senseless, in my eyes...If only I would have guts 2 end it all...I always thought about it when mum was alive but wanted 2 spare her all the suffering. Now she isnt around and I feel like I lost the only true friend and a caring person...My absence would do well 4 my family, if only I was not so stubborn and prideful and so scared of the act itself...I feel like something inside of me finally died, after her passing and this is only a body trying to maintain the imitation of life functions...I asked mum 4 forgiveness. Sometimes the the way out is better than being alive without living.2day I took some flowers to her grave because of easter and lighted a candle...Saw a dead pecker on the way back, certainly not a good sign...Dont know why I struggle so much with decision...After all its like a sleep and a dream, all the pain stops.https://postimg.cc/62kpmSh3/77637225
    one thing is certain, one day you are going to die and will be dead. So why hasten it? Maybe now you feel bad or lost, but you never know, what the future may yet have for you. Maybe you are going through a difficult time and it might last some time and the feelings of loss and hopelesness can color your whole perception of life, but you never know. Maybe you will find love and hapiness in the future, or maybe not.

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  3. #857
    Senior Member Kieran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamme View Post
    Had an argument with my sister where she was very harsh and senseless, in my eyes...If only I would have guts 2 end it all...I always thought about it when mum was alive but wanted 2 spare her all the suffering. Now she isnt around and I feel like I lost the only true friend and a caring person...My absence would do well 4 my family, if only I was not so stubborn and prideful and so scared of the act itself...I feel like something inside of me finally died, after her passing and this is only a body trying to maintain the imitation of life functions...I asked mum 4 forgiveness. Sometimes the the way out is better than being alive without living.2day I took some flowers to her grave because of easter and lighted a candle...Saw a dead pecker on the way back, certainly not a good sign...Dont know why I struggle so much with decision...After all its like a sleep and a dream, all the pain stops.https://postimg.cc/62kpmSh3/77637225

    Sorry to hear about that row with your sister, family arguments are the most draining and intense. I'm fortunate that I have 5 siblings and we all get on well, but there's been times....and the best solution was always to give each other a bit of space. Important feelings have room to breathe, and triumph over anger.

    Sometimes a bird dying is just a bird dying. From the photo it looks like the poor creature banged his noggin off a window and expired. They often do this, to fight with their own reflection. Maybe we humans do this too, in different ways. I remember recently a small bird bashed into the window here and I cradled it and nursed it for an hour or so, placed it in darkness, as they advise, then when I brought it out again and allowed it space to fly away, a huge bird of prey swooped in and took it away. It was fairly shocking and disappointing.

    I have no gripes today, it's bright and sunny and I've listened to the whole of Figaro through. But if I have a gripe it's that I can't meet my friend for coffee, sit outside and talk silly a while. Someday soon, we hope!
    The Brain - is wider than the Sky

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  5. #858
    Senior Member adriesba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamme View Post
    Had an argument with my sister where she was very harsh and senseless, in my eyes...If only I would have guts 2 end it all...I always thought about it when mum was alive but wanted 2 spare her all the suffering. Now she isnt around and I feel like I lost the only true friend and a caring person...My absence would do well 4 my family, if only I was not so stubborn and prideful and so scared of the act itself...I feel like something inside of me finally died, after her passing and this is only a body trying to maintain the imitation of life functions...I asked mum 4 forgiveness. Sometimes the the way out is better than being alive without living.2day I took some flowers to her grave because of easter and lighted a candle...Saw a dead pecker on the way back, certainly not a good sign...Dont know why I struggle so much with decision...After all its like a sleep and a dream, all the pain stops.https://postimg.cc/62kpmSh3/77637225
    I'm not really sure what to say. But I know being depressed like that can feel really awful. I've been depressed before and have been recently. I think a lot of people are. But don't give up.

    Jacck and Kieran have some good thoughts.

    Also remember that your worth isn't determined by how happy people are about you. If your sister is being unreasonable like you said, it's not any fault of yours. If your relationship with your family is giving you trouble, take a break and spend some time away from them. Now could be the perfect time with social distancing. Plus, absence makes the heart grow fonder. But yes, family members are often hard to deal with, and they can be quite unreasonable.

    As far as the bird goes, it's not an omen or anything like that. It's one of those remember the hits forget the misses kind of things. It's sort of like how people on a diet think that there must be more cake commercials than normal on TV, but really it's just that they notice it more.

    When I feel sad, it helps me to listen to a piece of music that makes me cry. You can drain the sadness out with the tears. Perhaps then you will be more receptive to a more uplifting piece.

    You can talk to people too when you're upset. Even though we haven't met you, all of us on Talk Classical are here to talk to.

    Wishing you happier days in your future.

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  7. #859
    Senior Member Ingélou's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamme View Post
    Had an argument with my sister where she was very harsh and senseless, in my eyes...If only I would have guts 2 end it all...I always thought about it when mum was alive but wanted 2 spare her all the suffering. Now she isnt around and I feel like I lost the only true friend and a caring person...My absence would do well 4 my family, if only I was not so stubborn and prideful and so scared of the act itself...I feel like something inside of me finally died, after her passing and this is only a body trying to maintain the imitation of life functions...I asked mum 4 forgiveness. Sometimes the the way out is better than being alive without living.2day I took some flowers to her grave because of easter and lighted a candle...Saw a dead pecker on the way back, certainly not a good sign...Dont know why I struggle so much with decision...After all its like a sleep and a dream, all the pain stops.https://postimg.cc/62kpmSh3/77637225

    It is terrible, having a row with family members. A few years ago, when I had to take the decision to find a care home for my mother (who has died now), my younger sister was extremely nasty to me. It really hurt me and I couldn't sleep properly. It worked out well for my Mum, so my sister gradually became more pleasant to me, but even thinking back today, it still upsets me. So I do sympathise.

    Please do choose life. I can imagine how depressed you feel - when I was young and at university, I did have thought like yours, but thank goodness I thought better of it, because I have had so many blessings in my life once that particular phase was past.

    We are all here for you, if you want to post, or to write privately.

    Hoping very much that today is a better day for you. xx
    Last edited by Ingélou; Apr-16-2020 at 08:32.
    My fiddle my joy.

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  9. #860
    Senior Member Flamme's Avatar
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    Thank ya guys...I know its a ''cliche'' but it means 2 me...Thing wizth my sister is I simply dont recognize her anymore! Sinc e she is with this dude, her fiancee she lost her personality...He is a kind of sleazy, pushy and controlling fella, also very materialistic..When we were talking on the phone I felt like I was talking 2 him, she had his cynical and accusing manner...Its very terrifying 4 me and something I dont need in this moment, in particular her claims I didnt give a hoot about my mother...She seems 2 c only 1 side of the story, her side and doesnt acccept any responsibility 4 her actions while in the same moment demanding me 2 take ALL the responsibility 4 everything that went wrong since our childhood!!! I really feel it woudl be better 2 somehow cut the ties with her and be in peace...I worry a lot about her in that community and about her child, why should I if she doenst appreciate it...
    'Listen, Mister god!
    Isn't it boring
    to dip your puffy eyes,
    every day, into a jelly of clouds?'

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  11. #861
    Senior Member Kieran's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Flamme View Post
    I worry a lot about her in that community and about her child, why should I if she doenst appreciate it...
    It's a funny but typical human behaviour - we worry about somebody who doesn't care if we worry for them, and when we think about it, we find that our worry doesn't benefit them anyway. And it certainly doesn't benefit us. I've been in the same bind myself at times, worried for somebody until I discovered they weren't worried about the same thing at all, and they didn't appreciate my concern, finding it intrusive in some ways.

    I doubt there's much you can do for your sister now, other than leave her be, and hope that in time, the conversation comes around again, but it's an easier conversation to have. I'm sure that even though it was bad this time, she will have heard you, and will think about what you said....
    Last edited by Kieran; Apr-16-2020 at 12:27.
    The Brain - is wider than the Sky

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  13. #862
    Senior Member Flamme's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kieran View Post
    It's a funny but typical human behaviour - we worry about somebody who doesn't care if we worry for them, and when we think about it, we find that our worry doesn't benefit them anyway. And it certainly doesn't benefit us. I've been in the same bind myself at times, worried for somebody until I discovered they weren't worried about the same thing at all, and they didn't appreciate my concern, finding it intrusive in some ways.

    I doubt there's much you can do for your sister now, other than leave her be, and hope that in time, the conversation comes around again, but it's an easier conversation to have. I'm sure that even though it was bad this time, she will have heard you, and will think about what you said....
    Wise advice bruh...The greatest irony of it all is that although she tries 2 imitate my mother when she scolds me she is actually completely falling under the influence of her fiancee and I had a feeling I was talking 2 him all the time...That is crazy because any1 who knew my mother knew she was an INDEPENDENT and INTELLIGENT woman who never ''danced'' the way her husband told her if she had a better option in mind...My sister sounds like shes been brainwashed and some ''cult tehniques'' come 2 mind...Shes not in a cult, ofcourse but she lost her indivuduality which is sad. Hopefully 1 day she will realize that I was not her enemy...
    'Listen, Mister god!
    Isn't it boring
    to dip your puffy eyes,
    every day, into a jelly of clouds?'

  14. #863
    Senior Member adriesba's Avatar
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    What you are experiencing with your family sounds sort of like what someone in my family has had to deal with with his own relatives. You want to try to help them as you see them heading in a direction they ought not to. When you try to somehow help or maybe give advice, they treat you poorly and don't listen. I've seen this family member's emotional well-being decline from talking to them and suggested that he not talk to them so much since they are quite toxic people. Ultimately though, you can't make decisions for other people and just have to leave them be.

    Avoiding contact for awhile could prove better in the end since at least you can avoid the stress of talking to people that respond unreasonably. It seems that people like that rarely listen to advice and think that they understand everything and that what they are doing is all right even though it's usually those on the outside that see all the problems.

    In short, the world would be better if more people logically thought about what other people tell them. So I get where you're coming from. I've seen it with some of my own relatives.
    Last edited by adriesba; Apr-17-2020 at 04:57.

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    Senior Member Dorsetmike's Avatar
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    The snooze button on my alarm clock only gives a 9 minute snooze but can be repeated, to my mind not a decent snooze - especially if the bladder requires draining, I have overcome this gripe with an alarm clock that has 2 alarm time settings, I've set them a half hour apart, so now I can have a decent half hour snooze.

    So is that de-griped or un-griped?
    I'm like my avatar .................. a local ruin

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    Senior Member adriesba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dorsetmike View Post
    The snooze button on my alarm clock only gives a 9 minute snooze but can be repeated, to my mind not a decent snooze - especially if the bladder requires draining, I have overcome this gripe with an alarm clock that has 2 alarm time settings, I've set them a half hour apart, so now I can have a decent half hour snooze.

    So is that de-griped or un-griped?
    I prefer "un-gripe".

    Half an hour seems like a long snooze to me, though I'm sure I've gone that long many times.

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  20. #866
    Senior Member Flamme's Avatar
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    Maybe it will sound like ''triffle'' but 4 the first time in months my fridge is filled and complete like it was when SHE was alive...I was often criticised 4 not eating much or at all since her death but now it loox like I finally bought everything I need.
    'Listen, Mister god!
    Isn't it boring
    to dip your puffy eyes,
    every day, into a jelly of clouds?'

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  22. #867
    Senior Member adriesba's Avatar
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    Yesterday I had a job interview and was told that I would have to start the work day at 4am. I don't remember being told this in the application process. I put my preferred hours in the application if I remember correctly. It definitely wasn't that early. I really need the job to pay for college in the fall. I jumped on the opportunity knowing how bad the economy is and feeling as if I can't risk refusing the offer. I'm scheduled for orientation in a couple weeks. I believe they already finished the background check. I'm starting to regret taking the offer. I'm not a morning person at all and know how exhausted I am after a week of college. It just didn't sink in that I'd have to wake up at least as early as 3:30am. It would only be for the summer, but oh my, I feel overwhelmed already...

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    Senior Member Flamme's Avatar
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    What is the job in question if I may inquire? My experience says that sometimes u have 2 make sacrifices and swallow pain and inner resistance, thus becoming tuffer in process...My gripe is about work as well...Yesterday I saw my general manager and we talked about my promotion...Im 1 of the best workers there but many ppl go UP based on political connections and all sorts of corruption...I go only by My work...Manager received me nice and told me he is aware of quality of my work and he will do all that he can to promote me, but it doesnt depend only on him. It was my 4th or 5th meeting with him in last 6 months...I know I have 2 b patient and my gut feeling says me that he genuinely likes me and does all that he can, that is my solace. I also got news that I will work much more from june and thus have more money and security...
    'Listen, Mister god!
    Isn't it boring
    to dip your puffy eyes,
    every day, into a jelly of clouds?'

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  26. #869
    Senior Member Rogerx's Avatar
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    adriesba
    Yesterday I had a job interview and was told that I would have to start the work day at 4am. I don't remember being told this in the application process. I put my preferred hours in the application if I remember correctly. It definitely wasn't that early. I really need the job to pay for college in the fall. I jumped on the opportunity knowing how bad the economy is and feeling as if I can't risk refusing the offer. I'm scheduled for orientation in a couple weeks. I believe they already finished the background check. I'm starting to regret taking the offer. I'm not a morning person at all and know how exhausted I am after a week of college. It just didn't sink in that I'd have to wake up at least as early as 3:30am. It would only be for the summer, but oh my, I feel overwhelmed already...
    Wish you all the best.

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  28. #870
    Senior Member pianozach's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adriesba View Post
    Yesterday I had a job interview and was told that I would have to start the work day at 4am. I don't remember being told this in the application process. I put my preferred hours in the application if I remember correctly. It definitely wasn't that early. I really need the job to pay for college in the fall. I jumped on the opportunity knowing how bad the economy is and feeling as if I can't risk refusing the offer. I'm scheduled for orientation in a couple weeks. I believe they already finished the background check. I'm starting to regret taking the offer. I'm not a morning person at all and know how exhausted I am after a week of college. It just didn't sink in that I'd have to wake up at least as early as 3:30am. It would only be for the summer, but oh my, I feel overwhelmed already...
    Sounds like either a tech support job, or a job where you're dealing with clients and/or contractors/distributors that are in an earlier time zone.

    I have a friend with a product placement business (West Coast L.A. area), and because of the way the business is constantly changing she's suddenly got clients in random places in the world. She no longer has a 'morning' . . . because at any given time it is morning SOMEWHERE in the world. She'll have conference calls at 3 in the morning, 10 at night. Actually, the least likely time for her to have 'morning' is NOT L.A. morning.

    Sometimes she looks so tired.

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