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Thread: New Waltz

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    Default New Waltz

    Hi everyone. I wrote another waltz. Hope you enjoy, any feedback gratefully received thanks.

    https://vimeo.com/adriendecroy/waltz9

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    Senior Member Phil loves classical's Avatar
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    Sounds nice. I think the part after the cellos come in could be developed more. I'm also thinking the chord where the brass comes in could be at a different chord than the one left off by the strings for more contrast. I think some parts of the melody and orchestration could be massaged around, which you're probably going to do anyway.
    Last edited by Phil loves classical; Oct-10-2019 at 22:15.
    "Forgive me, Majesty. I'm a vulgar man. But I assure you, my music is not.“ Mozart

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil loves classical View Post
    Sounds nice. I think the part after the cellos come in could be developed more. I'm also thinking the chord where the brass comes in could be at a different chord than the one left off by the strings for more contrast. I think some parts of the melody and orchestration could be massaged around, which you're probably going to do anyway.
    Hi Phil, thanks for your comment. I'm having trouble figuring out where you mean about the celli, is that in the opening (e.g. 1/2 way between [A] and [B]) or later on e.g. at [E]? By developed more do you mean the melody extended rather than finished up in 32 bars and then repeated? I have to admit I find writing longer forms very difficult.

    Also I'm struggling to find where you mean about your comment about the brass.

    As always yeah I will keep massaging the piece. I didn't really have any structural plans though, so it would be massaging of harmonies, highlights etc.

    Thanks!

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    Senior Member Phil loves classical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adrien View Post
    Hi Phil, thanks for your comment. I'm having trouble figuring out where you mean about the celli, is that in the opening (e.g. 1/2 way between [A] and [B]) or later on e.g. at [E]? By developed more do you mean the melody extended rather than finished up in 32 bars and then repeated? I have to admit I find writing longer forms very difficult.

    Also I'm struggling to find where you mean about your comment about the brass.

    As always yeah I will keep massaging the piece. I didn't really have any structural plans though, so it would be massaging of harmonies, highlights etc.

    Thanks!
    Hard to see the score, but starting at bar 32 before [B], I feel the theme or melody could have been more memorable or better integrated. By where the brass comes in, it's 4 bars before [B], it's sounds too similar to the chord where the strings end, to me at least.
    Last edited by Phil loves classical; Oct-11-2019 at 00:33.
    "Forgive me, Majesty. I'm a vulgar man. But I assure you, my music is not.“ Mozart

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil loves classical View Post
    Hard to see the score, but starting at bar 32 before [B], I feel the theme or melody could have been more memorable or better integrated. By where the brass comes in, it's 4 bars before [B], it's sounds too similar to the chord where the strings end, to me at least.
    ok I think I understand what you mean by integrated. More memorable is always the million dollar problem

    The brass entry at 38 was deliberately the same notes, in fact it's the exact same notes that the clarinets and bassoons play from 1 bar prior (which are the same as the strings prior but 1 octave down). The intention was for there to be one long chord that changes texture as it progresses from clarinets to brass. I was trying to make it treacly in texture here.

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    Quote Originally Posted by adrien View Post
    ok I think I understand what you mean by integrated. More memorable is always the million dollar problem

    The brass entry at 38 was deliberately the same notes, in fact it's the exact same notes that the clarinets and bassoons play from 1 bar prior (which are the same as the strings prior but 1 octave down). The intention was for there to be one long chord that changes texture as it progresses from clarinets to brass. I was trying to make it treacly in texture here.
    I see. Then I would make the 4th and 5th bars before [B] overlap into 1 so that the last chord overall would be 4 bars in length rather than an odd 5, because of the momentum of the quicker rhythm of the previous part with the strings, it tends to make me expect a change sooner.
    Last edited by Phil loves classical; Oct-11-2019 at 18:03.
    "Forgive me, Majesty. I'm a vulgar man. But I assure you, my music is not.“ Mozart

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    Quote Originally Posted by Phil loves classical View Post
    I see. Then I would make the 4th and 5th bars before [B] overlap into 1 so that the last chord overall would be 4 bars in length rather than an odd 5, because of the momentum of the quicker rhythm of the previous part with the strings, it tends to make me expect a change sooner.
    I had tried that before - holding the strings chord over the barline for another beat. It prevents that phrase from ending. I prefer the gap before the clarinets come in, they restate the chord and it's smooth from there. All the clarinets and trombones are crescendo until B where they change to a dim, so it's really all about B, from there it's 2 bars plus a carry over dovetail crotchet.

    The clarinets come in in 2nd beat of the 4th bar before B, the trombones carry it from 1 bar later to free the clarinets to lead into B.

    I had quite a few listens to see what you mean about expecting a change sooner. Maybe I'm too close to it, I'm not hearing / feeling it. hmmmm

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    Senior Member Phil loves classical's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by adrien View Post
    I had tried that before - holding the strings chord over the barline for another beat. It prevents that phrase from ending. I prefer the gap before the clarinets come in, they restate the chord and it's smooth from there. All the clarinets and trombones are crescendo until B where they change to a dim, so it's really all about B, from there it's 2 bars plus a carry over dovetail crotchet.

    The clarinets come in in 2nd beat of the 4th bar before B, the trombones carry it from 1 bar later to free the clarinets to lead into B.

    I had quite a few listens to see what you mean about expecting a change sooner. Maybe I'm too close to it, I'm not hearing / feeling it. hmmmm
    I looked at it again, I see you have 4 bars per phrase which you'd definitely want to keep. I feel the 2 phrases (last 8 bars) in the strings before the brass is a bit cluttered and the rhythm is a bit jerky (which pertains to my first comment in the first post), and which makes me expect a change sooner. If that part was better paced I think the brass entry would automatically work out.
    Last edited by Phil loves classical; Oct-12-2019 at 15:37.
    "Forgive me, Majesty. I'm a vulgar man. But I assure you, my music is not.“ Mozart

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    ok thanks, I'll take another look at the counter-rhythm stuff in the strings in that section.

    I wonder if your monitoring (or more likely mine) is making some things a lot more audible for you than me, I suspect mine is suppressing the trombones a bit, so they may be sticking out more for you and causing this effect. I don't hear it on headphones either though (HD650s)

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    Wow adrien you're like a machine with these compositions. Like Strauss himself!!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Swosh View Post
    Wow adrien you're like a machine with these compositions. Like Strauss himself!!
    That's very flattering, but maybe you're getting a bit carried away comparing me to Strauss, although he did write a number of waltzes of more dubious quality

    Thanks!

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