Thread: Liking Classical Music alienates people

Funny. It might be the friends I have, but I'm in my 20s (just about ) and I haven't found this at all tbh. People I mention my love of classical music to are generally respectful even if they don't "get it", and a couple have dipped their toes in the water after I've recommended works to them.

A friend circle (of which I'm the only serious classical fan) had a "one person recommends an album and everyone listens to and discusses it" club, and my picks of Schubert's Death and the Maiden quartet and Mendelssohn's Scottish symphony went down quite well, even if several people admitted it went a bit over their heads.

Might it be the way it gets brought up by you? My general experience is if you talk about what you enjoy openly, sincerely and with passion, people will appreciate that.

Originally Posted by danj

It seems that whenever the topic of musical discussion comes up, as it often does, whether it a work-place setting or among general friends (though it can vary between groups)... I tend to say opera/classical music and tones seem to change.

In my life, I have yet to meet another classical music listener who I've had any relationship with whether it be personal, via extension of family or workplace.

Almost everyone has liked anything but classical.

But I am not one to pry or ponder so when one asks now... I only sheepishly tell after I get to know them some time.

But I can't help feel that people cast judgement upon my fondness of the music and their actions reflect their disdain for it. (I am 28yr male if that makes a difference.)

Originally Posted by BachIsBest

As another young man, I can generally relate to this. Saying you like classical music seems to have the same effect as saying I'm a pretentious jerk in most circles. I as well tend to try and avoid telling people I like classical music unless the situation specifically calls for it; whether this works, who knows, It hasn't helped me win friends or anything.

Yup, I feel it too. Currently, I'm a junior in college. Not too long ago, at college, this person was talking to me about all these popular artists I had never heard of then asked me what music I listen to. All these thoughts went through my head as I mentioned that I listen to classical music...

"Will they think I'm narrow-minded?" "Will they think I'm some uppity-up person?" "Will they associate me with all the nonsense that these articles recommended to me on Google seem to think classical music is all about?"

This was probably mostly in my head, but when I see all these articles on the internet where people seem to be out to destroy classical music (e.g., classical music is "sexist", "racist", "elitist", etc. malarkey), I just tend to be afraid to talk about it. And goodness me, what will happen if I tell them my favorite composer is Wagner and they look him up? It seems unlikely that many people will be willing to take the time to look into classical music to see past all these unfair associations.

I'm not ashamed that I like classical music, but, yes, I do worry about talking about it sometimes. And not many people I come across listen to it. That's why I'm on Talk Classical everyday.

I live and work in a University neighborhood. So my experiences are not typical. However, if I were to offer advice on how to broach the subject of classical music to people, it would be this:

• Compare classical to things that are popular. Most people love orchestral music, they just don't know it. John Williams scores, Looney Tunes cartoons, etc. So you could talk about how great the music to Superman or Star Wars or (insert Marvel movie X) was. Then you could talk about how it was a lot like some classical piece (e.g. a Rossini overture or a Tchaikovsky symphony).
  
• Avoid using terms that assign superiority. Instead of saying "classical is so much more emotionally involving than X," say "listening to classical really allows me to focus on the feelings created by the music."
  
• Talk about it from a technical angle. Classical is a great way to give a pair of headphones or a good stereo system a workout. Lots of people are tech heads, and you can smuggle classical into your friendship that way. Demo a few of your best tracks for someone. If they're a vinyl hipster, classical is a HUGE market waiting for them.
  
• Share music! Curate a playlist for them on their favorite streaming service. Put some FLAC files on a thumb drive. Lend them a CD (yeah, yeah, I know, the youngs don't use those any more - I am 43, so I grew up with CDS).

Originally Posted by adriesba

Yup, I feel it too. Currently, I'm a junior in college. Not too long ago, at college, this person was talking to me about all these popular artists I had never heard of then asked me what music I listen to. All these thoughts went through my head as I mentioned that I listen to classical music...

"Will they think I'm narrow-minded?" "Will they think I'm some uppity-up person?" "Will they associate me with all the nonsense that these articles recommended to me on Google seem to think classical music is all about?"

This was probably mostly in my head, but when I see all these articles on the internet where people seem to be out to destroy classical music (e.g., classical music is "sexist", "racist", "elitist", etc. malarkey), I just tend to be afraid to talk about it. And goodness me, what will happen if I tell them my favorite composer is Wagner and they look him up? It seems unlikely that many people will be willing to take the time to look into classical music to see past all these unfair associations.

I'm not ashamed that I like classical music, but, yes, I do worry about talking about it sometimes. And not many people I come across listen to it. That's why I'm on Talk Classical everyday.

Very many of my friends are aware I’m utterly nuts about Wagner and it has become a bit of an inside joke in some cases. I talk about my classical music love the same way as about any other music. I haven’t acquaintaned much prejudices at all although I have had to explain the Wagner-Hitler affair a couple of times . I wouldn’t be afraid to speak about classical music, unless you go on to claim some sort of superiority of your musical tastes

I haven’t met people of my age in real life who were as passionate about classical music as I am. That’s why I spend quite a lot of time online here. I would probably still be living in musical ignorance without TC

I feel you guys!

I started listening and liking classical music when I was 10 yrs old. That was after I saw my first VPO New Year’s concert on TV.
Later, I would save my pocket money to buy LPs of various composers, mainly Beethoven etc... Then attended my first concert when I was 12, after my mother permitted me to go on my own, to Musikverein Saal, Vienna. I think I was the youngest lad there, I was wearing a black suit, white shirt and a bow tie trying to look adult (haha).
Well I was a bit shy telling my friends at school I liked classical music. None of them did. And whenever I did, I felt being a bit left out. So I avoided mentioning that all together till I was in my end 30ies. Now in my 40ies, it doesn’t sound odd at all. It has to do with age I guess and the age (maturity) of the people around you.
If it helps any, here is what I said most times when I was asked what type of music I like: “Oh a lot of things from classical to Jazz, to Pop etc...” So I would mention Classical among other “common” genres of music and see peoples’ reaction, then I would know which genre I should talk more about and which not.

So yes guys, ignore what others say. Enjoy what you enjoy and thank god for TC, we are all here for the same reason I guess!

When I was young, I didn't mind telling people in a casual conversation that I listened to classical music. It was kind of cool to be different.

When I was working, I needed to be a bit more careful. While I wouldn't let myself sound like an elitist, I'd also have to assess the risk of the other person thinking I was an elitist because of their prejudice against classical music regardless how/what I would speak about it. One bad move, and your career could get into trouble that you could never have imagined.

Now that I'm retired, I don't mind telling people I listen to classical music either. I just don't give a pickle what they think of classical music, or me listening to it. The only slightly annoying thing is that the conversation on classical music could never be continued in a meaningful or interactive way. Otherwise, I don't feel bothered emotionally. And then there are many other things in life that's worth talking about. Shall we start talking about infrared photography, or how to make carrot haters eat carrot?

On the other hand,

I was once on the receiving end of such a conversation many years ago when I was at the university - I overheard a few classmates talking about a new LP release of Tchaikovsky's Pathétique, and I joined in asking which recording, and the reply was, "we're talking about classical music. You don't know it."

Oh yeah? OK, you people who listen to classical music are rude, disgusting elitist.

Normal, perfectly normal, it is a global norm. You should not talk classical with occasional people, period, only with your closest friends. I do not even talk about classical with my nieces, cousins, other relatives which are not in my closest contact. I do not blame people for that, but on the other hand, wealthy people are able to convince their surrounding people to listen to classical, they have a lot of followers on internet socialization accounts which share their listening programs. Leave the errand of spreading the trend to them.