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Thread: Here is a clarinet joke for any clarinetists with a sense of humor....

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    Senior Member 4/4player's Avatar
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    Default Here is a clarinet joke for any clarinetists with a sense of humor....

    How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb?

    Only one, but he'll go through a whole box of bulbs before he finds just the right one.

    4/4player
    " 'Penitence!'
    'No!'
    'Penitence!'
    'No!'
    'Penitence!'
    'No!'
    'Yes!'
    'Nooooooooooo!' [Dragged down into Hell]
    - Act two: Finale of Mozart's "Don Giovanni"

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    Senior Member Kurkikohtaus's Avatar
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    How does a clarinetist get the best parking spaces?

    He leaves his instrument case on the dashboard.

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    Junior Member toughcritic's Avatar
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    I played some clarinet when I was little. Shouldn't have stopped!

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    there are too many clarinet jokes, and they're all hilarious!


    One oboe/clarinet joke:


    How do you keep an oboe from being stolen?

    Put it in a clarinet case

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    Quote Originally Posted by toughcritic View Post
    * I played some clarinet when I was little. Shouldn't have stopped!
    I did too, but I kept breaking reeds 111

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    Senior Member marval's Avatar
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    An oboist noticed at the end of each rehearsal break, one of the clarinetists would look at the inside flap of his jacket before he sat down to resume rehearsal. This continued for several years, and the oboist became quite curious about it.

    One day, during hot weather, the clarinetist took off his jacket and went off on break. The oboist waited until everyone was off the platform, looked around, and sneaked over to the jacket.

    He pulled back the flap and saw a little note pinned on the inside. It read: "left hand top, right hand bottom."

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    Senior Member PostMinimalist's Avatar
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    Here's a joke: Guy goes into the john at the concet hall and takes a ****. Another guy comes in and takes a **** next to him but a fountain of **** goes everywhere including all over the first guy. Looking at the other guy's tool he sees that it's full of holes! The second guy says that he has always had this problem. So the first guy gives the second a business card and tells him to go and see this man, to which the second guy replies asking "Is this a doctor?" "No, says the first guy, "It's a clarinet player, he'll show you how to hold it!"
    I know tons of these, gathered over the years in orchestras.

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    Quote Originally Posted by post-minimalist View Post
    Here's a joke: Guy goes into the john at the concet hall and takes a ****. Another guy comes in and takes a **** next to him but a fountain of **** goes everywhere including all over the first guy. Looking at the other guy's tool he sees that it's full of holes! The second guy says that he has always had this problem. So the first guy gives the second a business card and tells him to go and see this man, to which the second guy replies asking "Is this a doctor?" "No, says the first guy, "It's a clarinet player, he'll show you how to hold it!"
    I know tons of these, gathered over the years in orchestras.
    Do share please, do share!

  10. #9
    Newbies ProfessorMaple's Avatar
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    What d'you call a trombonist who isn't in a relationship?


    Broke.

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    Senior Member JoeGreen's Avatar
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    Do vocalist jokes count?

    well anyways...

    What does an alto with a job say?



    "Want fries with that?"
    I adore art...when I am alone with my notes, my heart pounds and the tears stream from my eyes, and my emotion and my joys are too much to bear.

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    Senior Member PostMinimalist's Avatar
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    What do you call a jazz drummer in a suit?

    The defendant!

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    What's the difference between an onion and an oboe?

    Nobody cries when you chop an oboe in half.

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    That's a bit harsh, little sis

    What's perfect pitch on a flute?

    When it goes straight into the bin without touching the sides

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    Moderator Huilunsoittaja's Avatar
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    Many of you have probably heard this one...

    How do you get 2 piccolos in tune?

    Shoot one of them.
    "Music is an art, and art is forever. Music should not succumb to fashion, which is passing and forgotten."
    Glazunov


    Join TC's Official Russian Composer Fanclub!

    Oh, and, here's my professional website!

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    Okay, what's the longest viola joke ? Harold in Italy. Ouch ! (actually I like this piece very much).

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