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Letters of Historical Amusement

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Kindly let me know who do you think wrote this? Readers who recognise it immediately might like to refrain, to encourage those more speculative amongst us to have a guess.

I quote from the source as follows. Enjoy!

Madame Mutter!
I like to eat Butter
We are, Thank the Lord,
Healthy and never bored.
Our trip is bright and sunny,
Though we haven't any money;
We enjoy the company we keep,
We are not sick, we do not weep.

Of course, the people I see
Have muck in their bellies, just like me,
But they will let it out with a whine,
either before or after they dine.
There's a lot of farting during the night,
And the farts resound with thunderous might.
Yesterday, though, we heard the king of farts,
It smelled as sweet as honey tarts,
While it wasn't in the strongest of voice,
It still came on as a powerful noise.
We have now been here for over a week,
******** muck upon muck in a steady streak.
Herr Wendling has reason to be angry with me,
For I haven't written any of the quartetti;
But when I get back to the bridge o'er the Rhine,
I will travel homeward in one straight line,
And write the 4 quartets without any sass,
So he has no reason to call me an ***.

The Concerto I'll write him in Paris, it's fitting,
For there I can dash it off while I'm ********,
To tell the truth, I'd rather go with these people here
Into the world both far and near,
Than with those music men I thought I knew,
When I think of them now, I feel so blue;
I may have to do it, but now it's a dread,
For Herr Weber's *** is better than Ramm's head.
Indeed, a small slice from the *** of Herr Weber
I prefer to the whole Wendling endeavour.
We don't insult God when we sit down and *****
Or if we eat muck, chewing off every bit,
We are all honest folk, birds of a feather,
And have summa summarum 8 eyes all together.
That's not counting the one on which we sit.
But now I'd better stop this Poesie of wit.
Just one more thing allow me to add
Monday coming, please don't be sad,
For I'll have the Honour of kissing your hands
Though before I see you, I'll ***** in my pants.
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  1. mamascarlatti's Avatar
    With all those poos and farts it sounds like Mozart. But of course it's in English, so unless it's been translated by someone with too much time on their hands it can't be.

    Edit: actually, seeing the names are German I reckon it is Mozart. Reference to travel and penury would fit.
    Updated Apr-15-2011 at 10:10 by mamascarlatti
  2. HarpsichordConcerto's Avatar
    mamascaratti, yes, correct! Young Mozart wrote it to his mother dated 31 January 1778. (I have a book of his letters, Mozart's Letters, Mozart's Life; Selected letters edited & newly translated by R. Spaethling (2001), some professor of German translated them). These letters offered fascinating insight from all matters of Mozart family life to musicology interests.
  3. Sid James's Avatar
    Funny that. A film that has just come out here called Mozart's Sister kind of alludes to this. It shows the young Mozart (aged approx. 10) sitting on a toilet - which is obviously amusing in itself for his family watching him - the "crapper" was a new invention back then!!!