Have you ever been disappointed by the reality of a musical performance, preferring instead the recollection of it? Or been perplexed by an experience of listening to a piece that was different than the experience of recalling it all day long in your head?
I spent most of yesterday at work humming (in my head at least) pieces from Sibelius' 7th Symphony. This morning, I listened to it again, but somehow, the satisfaction I got from it was not the same as the kind of satisfaction I get from recalling it in memory. Not necessarily lesser satisfaction, but perhaps a different kind?
I feel this way often.. I can be my own conductor in my head version. Not that I'm better than a professional, it's just fun to see how a well loved piece sounds differently when put through multiple in the brain interpretations...
Yes, in my case too. My theory is memory prefers to retain pleasant impressions and may even filter out rougher aspects of prior experiences.
As a corollary to this, I've been disappointed by live concert performances compared to the exact same performance played on my audio system at home. The live performance sounds tinny, uninvolved, and lacking depth. Who knows, maybe the precise engineering and positioning of mics for recordings and less than ideal seating and acoustics in the hall contribute to this.
I think once I familiarize myself well with the themes and passages, I can reproduce it in my mind with preferable emphasises on voicing and phrasing. But my recollection is often imperfect and I learn new things when I return to the recording. Still, I do often seem to hear it the way I feel optimal in my head.
I think I have good memory and can remember a lot. But the real listening experience is always better. What you can hear in your mind is not more than a monophonic line. The rest is an illusion and nobody can convince me otherwise.
Sometimes I think the difference between what one remembers about a recorded performance has to do with where in life one was when that work was being listened to. We move on, listen to a lot of new pieces and sometimes 'going back' to that original performance is not what we remember or expected.
I'm pretty sure hearing the piece in my head I put in more ridiculous dramatic pauses or wild dynamic ranges that aren't really there -- and that's probably for the best.
Never, it is always the listening experience that I prefer. I recall in my head of favorite versions/recordings that I have listened over and over. Purely and simply psychological.
As someone whose listening habits run broad rather than deep, I used to have some envy for those who know pieces down to the last note, until I realised how often this seems to lead to dissatisfaction with a performance that doesn't match what's in one's own head.
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