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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My daughter is 7 yrs. old and started taking instrument lessons at the beginning of school last year at 6 yrs. old. My wife has a musical background and practices with her. My thought is that she should practice about 45-60 mins. My wife has her practicing on some days 3-4 hrs. In addition to that, she constantly yells at her when she makes mistakes. I think 3-4 hrs. of yelling is counterproductive. My daughter starts to cry and doesn't want to practice. I can't blame her. My questions are 1) How long should she be practicing at this age and 2) Should I be concerned about the yelling. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
 

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My daughter is 7 yrs. old and started taking instrument lessons at the beginning of school last year at 6 yrs. old. My wife has a musical background and practices with her. My thought is that she should practice about 45-60 mins. My wife has her practicing on some days 3-4 hrs. In addition to that, she constantly yells at her when she makes mistakes. I think 3-4 hrs. of yelling is counterproductive. My daughter starts to cry and doesn't want to practice. I can't blame her. My questions are 1) How long should she be practicing at this age and 2) Should I be concerned about the yelling. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
If she really want's to learns something, without the pressure from her parent send her to a real teacher.
 
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My daughter is 7 yrs. old and started taking instrument lessons at the beginning of school last year at 6 yrs. old. My wife has a musical background and practices with her. My thought is that she should practice about 45-60 mins. My wife has her practicing on some days 3-4 hrs. In addition to that, she constantly yells at her when she makes mistakes. I think 3-4 hrs. of yelling is counterproductive. My daughter starts to cry and doesn't want to practice. I can't blame her. My questions are 1) How long should she be practicing at this age and 2) Should I be concerned about the yelling. Any thoughts would be appreciated.
I agree with Rogerx, Try to find a good music teacher.

I also think that 45 minutes is probably long enough for beginners , the yelling has to stop for your child's sake and for your wife's sake, else your child will not have the will to learn to play an instrument and will become a dreaded chore for her and as you suggested the shouting will serve only to make her nervous and make mistakes. Sounds like she is being forced into learning, not a good starting point. Which musical instrument is your daughter learning?
 

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I agree - it's so easy for children to give things up. There has to be something that's fun or intriguing or beautiful about music lessons.
My fiddle teacher has just started his little son on the violin - he has outsourced it to a teacher who's very used to dealing with young children, and when the little boy is not in the mood, she plays games with him that improve his bow hold or concentration etc.

I would say between 20 minutes and 40 minutes most days to start with - making it up to an hour when the little girl has got used to it.

A teacher is best, but if that isn't on, it's best to make it fun even while it's challenging - making up little games, competitions, performing a little concert for her friends or whatever.

When I taught seven year olds I'd have prizes for everything, but in a fun way, so that everyone had the chance of winning something. One boy 'won' a toy tied to the class Christmas tree - a three-legged horse. He kept it on his desk the whole term . :)
 

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Assert your parental authority as a father in what sounds like an obviously abusive situation with your daughter. It’s no wonder she doesn’t want to practice under the circumstances. Just because your wife has a background in music does not mean that she’s her best teacher. For a child to practice 3 to 4 hours a day requires self-motivation, a natural love of learning and playing the music, and your daughter is obviously not there, at least at this point in her young development with this kind of a coercive approach. I suspect that your wife has ambitions for your daughter that perhaps she may never have been able to fulfill herself and she has unreasonable expectations of her. It sounds like a terrible situation that needs some type of intervention. I would also consult other violin teachers for a second opinion on what your wife is doing and see what they would recommend for a child this young. She’s your daughter too. Best wishes.
 

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3-4 hours a day for a 7-year-old is a lot, even apart from being yelled at. :-( Most beginner pieces are quite short for one thing, which becomes highly repetitive for practicing after an hour. Additionally, many kids are also involved in multiple activities, as well as needing to complete their schoolwork. Finding that sweet spot of enough practice to develop skills and also learn discipline, while staying balanced with everything else they're doing, is tough but key to their continuing with their music lessons (at least in my experience).
 

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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
My daughter takes lessons after school with a music instructor once a week. She plays the violin. The lessons are about 45 min. but there are other students in the class as well. I had a discussion with my wife about the duration of practice and about the yelling. She seems to think that is an effective way to teach our daughter. I told her to try another approach without yelling and shorter lessons. I also think my daughter would enjoy it more without the added stress. Her instructor always compliments her and tells us how well she is doing. I just want her to have fun and have a joyful experience learning to play.
 

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Three to four hours of going through the motions when the heart isn't in it might not do much good, although, if your wife insists your daughter must excel at music, she could always try beating her when she makes mistakes. One of my conservatory friends became an excellent pianist because her mother applied this method, which, at the time, in Singapore at least, seems to have been socially acceptable. And my friend is now a professional with a secure college teaching position and frequent performing opportunities. Of course, there are thousands of other little girls who were traumatized by such treatment who now have no interest in or connection to music.

A half hour to an hour of concentrated practice by a happy child is about right. If the child later wants to do more it should be encouraged.
 

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I taught my step-daughter piano, and she passed her Grade 7 exam of the Royal Conservatory. 3-4 hours is quite excessive to me for taking piano as a hobby. It is better to make smaller goals, so the kid can focus. I get my kid to learn and master bar by bar the notes and timing. And tell her to repeat the bar over and over till she can get it right 5 times in a row (or close to it). I do push her to her limit, but there is only so much you can remember at one sitting.
 

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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
Three to four hours of going through the motions when the heart isn't in it might not do much good, although, if your wife insists your daughter must excel at music, she could always try beating her when she makes mistakes. One of my conservatory friends became an excellent pianist because her mother applied this method, which, at the time, in Singapore at least, seems to have been socially acceptable. And my friend is now a professional with a secure college teaching position and frequent performing opportunities. Of course, there are thousands of other little girls who were traumatized by such treatment who now have no interest in or connection to music.

A half hour to an hour of concentrated practice by a happy child is about right. If the child later wants to do more it should be encouraged.
Beating her is not an option. Sounds like Tiger mom. She will learn at her own pace. I've had another discussion with my wife about her ways.
 

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Discussion Starter · #11 ·
I taught my step-daughter piano, and she passed her Grade 7 exam of the Royal Conservatory. 3-4 hours is quite excessive to me for taking piano as a hobby. It is better to make smaller goals, so the kid can focus. I get my kid to learn and master bar by bar the notes and timing. And tell her to repeat the bar over and over till she can get it right 5 times in a row (or close to it). I do push her to her limit, but there is only so much you can remember at one sitting.
I agree with repeating the mistakes until they are corrected. This will reinforce the correct way to play. I feel that if practice is too long, more mistakes will be made due to being tired and frustrated.
 

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I agree with repeating the mistakes until they are corrected. This will reinforce the correct way to play. I feel that if practice is too long, more mistakes will be made due to being tired and frustrated.
I can relate to that. That is why I divided my practice time into shorter periods. For example, I spend each day to practice scales for ca. 30min (I am not advanced piano player and I need that :) ) Then with short or long brake but the same day I practice something new following program on the app I am using, this take me ca. 60+ minutes. Then after some brake usually I spend ca. 30+ min practising pieces I know how to play and just improvising (I add this practice time recently because it was tiring and dis-motivating only learning, learning, learning and not enjoying the journey.)
I can relate to earlier answers as well. At the beginning like 10 months ago it was difficult for me to stay playing for more than 45-60 minutes. Somehow it was impossible. Too much new things to master. But while progressing it is easier to extend practice time.
You can judge my progress on this video:

I was completely beginner. Did not know anything about piano when I started 10 months ago. Good luck. Listen to your body, hands and head :) Practice as much as you can, and at some point I believe, it happened to me, you will become HUNGRY to play more! Take care :)
 

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I was asked to practice at least 3 hours per day when I started piano lessons at age 6. I had a private teacher, even though I was brought up in a very musical family.

Please know that the 3 hours was not all in one block of time ... it was spread out over the day, and as time progressed, I would lengthen my practice time at the piano, and later on, organ.

I have this little phrase on my office wall at home:

Amateurs practice until they get it right, Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong.

This also works:

Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong.

My personal practice time at church, in preparation for the weekend services, is usually 3 to 4 hours. I, of course, practice at home on the piano, reserving the time at church for registration, setting pistons, and finely tuning the pieces to be played.

Every once in a while a church practice session doesn't go well ... I can't seem to play more than five notes without making huge mistakes. I immediately stop that practice session and play a piece that I know very well and can play from memory, then go home.

Leaving a practice session on a positive note (no pun intended) is better than ending a practice session with negative thoughts. It's a process that works for me.
Kh :cool:
 

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I have this little phrase on my office wall at home:

Amateurs practice until they get it right, Professionals practice until they can't get it wrong.

This also works:

Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong.


Kh :cool:
What a great phrases :) I am practising my scales until I can't get it wrong... (I mean still in the process) but... some pieces during my learning process I was practising: till I get it right... (amateur)
Thank you for this phrases, just realised wrong approach to some of my playing sessions. Will be improved :)
 

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I won't go into my story about how I came to start private clarinet lessons at age 9 in 1963. But the deal was I had to practice 40 minutes a day, which was my teacher's rule. I did. It was OK and I turned out fine.
 

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learning guitar I took the basics from youtube eg. chords, scales etc. but that only helped me so far, I then went in to guitar school for about 2-3hrs a week, then in my own time I averaged 1-2hrs per day or when I could find the time. I guess the more you practice the better you will be but then you got to want it bad enough if you are looking to go professional. For myself I wanted to know the basics and go from there.
 

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How long you practice depends where you are with your instrument skills. This is based on my own experience... I started with ca. 30+ min practice. All due to fact I was literally at zero point of my piano journey. Then it changes!!! Once you practice and you are able to play more and more and most of all pieces or simplified pieces you really like then you can stay with your instrument forever :) But not all of us enough time. Right? So play! As much as you can.
Oh, even more important is consistency! PLAY EVERY DAY!
 

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"... she constantly yells at her when she makes mistakes."
If your wife is getting that upset over and extra curricular activity, I'd hate to think how she reacts to an issue of serious importance!
 
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