My experience is that a loan of a book, record, cd, or money is a gift. I have, on occasion, loaned small amounts of money ($10 or $20) to someone I never wanted to see again, and it has worked. Otherwise, whenever someone asks me for a loan nowadays, I ask myself if I want to give them the thing or the money as a gift. If I decide yes, then I give it to them, I tell them it's a gift, and that I don't want to hear it mentioned in the future, though they can "pay it forward" if they like.
About 20 years ago I loaned some money to a friend, who was then unable to pay it back. I told him the debt was forgiven and forgotten (there were circumstances beyond his control) but I never saw him again, which saddened me.
A few years ago a friend from the city I used to live in passed through the city I now live in, and asked for the loan of a CD set. I agreed, and she never returned them. It's not worth it to me to try to get them back. I don't even listen to CDs any more. It's all digital now.
About 20 years ago I loaned some money to a friend, who was then unable to pay it back. I told him the debt was forgiven and forgotten (there were circumstances beyond his control) but I never saw him again, which saddened me.
A few years ago a friend from the city I used to live in passed through the city I now live in, and asked for the loan of a CD set. I agreed, and she never returned them. It's not worth it to me to try to get them back. I don't even listen to CDs any more. It's all digital now.