Your observation is a good example of why we have to be so careful in using the "e"-word. What we mean by it is not simply a matter of dictionary definition. What does it mean to me? in my life-situation; or to you; at this time; in the future; and how much? Not a stable word, and yet people unthinkingly use it to make judgements of great finality.
I'm glad it worked out for you eventually. During the time I was teaching music, parental involvement was becoming much more recognized as important and I had to learn to communicate better with the whole family, not just the student. It's common for a classical piano student to want to play popular music; I was one of them. However the situation is accommodated, it has to be supported by the student, parents, and siblings through ongoing discussions that build trust in everyone concerned.
And I've never met pianists who play popular music regret as adults that they continued their classical lessons up to reaching an advanced level before stopping.
Yes, parents can be a problem. They can be too close and too involved, or they can be unaware that their child has an outstanding aptitude (and what that could mean for him or her). I've had mostly the first kind.. heh
Many of my friends growing up took piano lessons. I know the following isn't what you meant by elitism, but I've experienced the opposite (if that's the right word). We would be playing touch football and my friend's mom would yell out "time for your piano practice, Johnny". He would sigh and go inside. He was our quarterback and the rest of us really admired him as a football player so we didn't make fun of him, but we would roll our eyes! So I guess that's the opposite of an elitist response.
I have long wondered how a child gets into music and has the sustained interest to get to the point of effortless playing..
What happened to me was that my younger brother would dance around singing and so my parents decided that he had musical ability. He yammered that he wanted to take piano lessons. There was NOT a lot of money for that sort of thing, but we already had an old upright in the basement. So all the books were purchased and of course he quit after about a month and a half..
At the same time my father was a volunteer fireman and he would take me to the fire house when he got the call. There was an old piano there and one day this girl who is only a little older than me started playing her practice pieces. I was amazed, she played it all with all her fingers and very quickly. I was hooked!
So I think it's a complicated sequence which might result in a strong interest in learning music, on your own.
1. being inspired by a friend who's older but not a lot older (occurring outside the home and away from your parents and siblings)
2. having a piano available, and the books with simple, attractive pieces for showing off.
3. being able to explore on your own in a private area of the house.
With all the distractions today, IMO, without any one of these it would be improbable for someone young to just fall into it.
With your experiences, what do you think?
yammer
late Middle English (as a verb meaning 'lament, cry out'): alteration of earlier yomer (from Old English geōmrian'to lament') suggested by Middle Dutch jammeren .