[superhorn]

Tom Swifties are a kind of pun containing a statement by a guy named Tom which contain a pun .
Here are some examples of them :

I have a split personality, said Tom, being frank .
I like modern painting, said Tom abstractly .
I don't want to die by drowning in Egypt, said Tom deep in denial .
I manufacture tabletops for shops , said Tom counterproductively .
We can't have this and eat to too, said Tom Archaically .
MY grapes have fermented , Tom whined .
This is a mutiny, said Tom bountifully .
The boat is leaking, said Tom balefully .
I'm losing my hair, Tom bawled .
Why shouldn't I stir my coffee with a ballpoint pen ?, bickered Tom .
Your fly is open, was Tom's zippy rejoinder .
I need a pencil sharpener, said Tom bluntly .
There goes my hat, said Tom off the top of his head .

LOL !

 

[KenOC]

Your toilet's fixed, Tom piped.
I'll take the prisoner down now, said Tom condescendingly.
But we've turned this way three times already, said Tom forthrightly.

 

[KenOC]

You have the right to remain silent, said Tom arrestingly.
Use your own hair brush, Tom bristled.
My whale died, Tom blubbered.
Orgasms should be outlawed, said Tom anticlimactically.

 

[Mahlerian]

I remember playing cards all night long, Tom said wistfully.
How about a game of baseball, Tom pitched.
Did you see the football go out of bounds, asked Tom with a zoned-out look.
Light isn't always a particle, said Tom with a wave.
You just have to cut it down to size, said Tom reductively.

 

[Blancrocher]

That one about light extended my thinking about what a Tom Swiftie could be, Mahlerian--inspired!

 

[geralmar]

The only one I can remember had much too elaborate a set-up, with Tom flying down the road on a motorcycle with his girlfriend, Ruth, hanging on for dear life behind him:

"How are you doing back there?" asked Tom, Ruthlessly.