[breakup]

I posted this on the "funny pictures" thread, but it fits better here.

"We had a dog once that was farting loudly for awhile, and they stank. After one or two times in the living room I started chasing him back to the room where he slept in case he did it again, and kept doing it for several times over the course of a couple weeks. One evening we were in the living room and my wife passed gas loudly, and the dog got up and slunk back to his room."

 

[breakup]

I had a misadventure with a pet dog last night.

I was walking in the neighbourhood and stopped to chat with a neighbour who was out pulling weeds. We were just beginning our chat, when an average sized dog, barking fiercely and with fangs bared, bolted out of the man's yard and leapt up at me, jumping up at my face and close to my bare arms and t-shirt clad torso, barking toothily. The man yelled at the dog and it returned into the yard. I was quite shaken.

I asked the man if he had not heard of dog obedience training. He blithely told me that this is what he had trained his dog to do and then he uttered the threat: "And one word from me and things would have been different!"

I would think that would be something worth reporting to the police, or bury the dog, especially if the dog left the mans property.

 

[breakup]

I'd like to know how to keep them off countertops. We've tried squirting with water, placing aluminum foil around the perimeter, and even installing a shock pad. The latter worked, but it scared one so badly that she leaped about 4 feet in the air and smacked some hanging light fixtures. We certainly don't want to hurt them.

The voltage probably wasn't high enough, I understand that 220 works pretty well. The cat certainly wouldn't jump very high.

 

[breakup]

So this troublesome guy, Harry...

View attachment 73206

decided to bring me a mouse today. Alive and squeaking. About scared the living daylights out of me! And yes, that is an iPhone under his paw.

I had a dog once that came home with half a squirrel. Obviously the squirrel was dead. I figured I didn't need to feed her as much that night.

 

[breakup]

I used to listen to a PBS radio program by Click and Clack, the tappet brothers. It was a call in show where people would describe their car problems and the brothers would try to diagnose and help to cure the problem. One woman called in from Georgia or one of those southern states and had a Gecko that had crawled into her dash and was clinging to her speedometer needle, and she wanted to know how to get it out. The brothers told her that first she should take a photo and send it to the GEICO insurance co. and after they came out and video'd the Gecko and paid her a million dollars, she could then get the Gecko out of her car. They wanted a cut of the million.