Aramis
In my lodge in the opera, there is this old couple (like 90 years old), and EVERY time they have these slimey rumbling coughs straight through the music. It's cuts through the music, and it smells digusting.
Extremely distatestful, especially because they always choose moments where it's best heard. I motion for a ban....
Extremely distatestful, especially because they always choose moments where it's best heard. I motion for a ban....
Bravo!! If only more artists would do such things. So many performances are ruined by thoughtless people with seemingly terminal bronchial conditions. If they're that ill, they should stay away instead of spoiling the concert for AND spreading their germs to others in the audience.
Of course, people with digital watch alarms which go off and mobile phones that ring should simply be shot on the spot!
Of course, people with digital watch alarms which go off and mobile phones that ring should simply be shot on the spot!
If you have a cough and you must go to a concert, just bring a pocketfull of cough drops. They usually do the trick. I've been to concerts where the ushers actually had a bucket of them for anyone to use.
Of course, that brings up the problem of unwrapping them, which can be distracting as well, although not as bad as coughing.
Of course, that brings up the problem of unwrapping them, which can be distracting as well, although not as bad as coughing.
Thank god that in halls such as the concertgebouw the sound of a cough is masked (maybe the acoustics?), but in the opera house here i realised yesterday how much i wanted to slap old ladies.
I once sat through a whole performance of Brahms Requiem right next to a guy that had a "whistling nose" the entire concert. I actually ended up putting a finger in the ear closest to him, in hopes that as much music and as little nose whistling as possibly would reach the other one. It kinda worked.
I can usually deal with some minor caughing here and there, especially in loud sections of the music, but some people will just cough as loudly as they please in the most quiet and "sensitive" moments in the music. I remember in a piano encore (I think it was Leif Ove Andsnes playing Shumann), the music reaches a pause in a very heartfelt, quiet section, and in the middle of the pause, some guy coughs loudly. It was like he was waiting for the worst moment.. Well done, you magnificent *******!
I can usually deal with some minor caughing here and there, especially in loud sections of the music, but some people will just cough as loudly as they please in the most quiet and "sensitive" moments in the music. I remember in a piano encore (I think it was Leif Ove Andsnes playing Shumann), the music reaches a pause in a very heartfelt, quiet section, and in the middle of the pause, some guy coughs loudly. It was like he was waiting for the worst moment.. Well done, you magnificent *******!
I hate the coughers especially the ones who don't even try to suppress it. They are b@st*rds.
If you're that sick stay at home!!
Almost as bad are the idiots who like to show the world how well educated they are because they know when a piece is over. They can't wait to jump to their feet and shout "bravo" before the last chord has even decayed to silence.
If you're that sick stay at home!!
Almost as bad are the idiots who like to show the world how well educated they are because they know when a piece is over. They can't wait to jump to their feet and shout "bravo" before the last chord has even decayed to silence.
Now see, that's one advantage of liking rock music. You can't hear any coughing at a rock concert -- and often not much of anything for several days afterward. Of course you sometimes have to worry about people throwing up on your shoes.
Yeah? Well I'm a great Stevie Wonder fan and was at one of his (unfortunately large arena) concerts a couple of years ago.
Not only were some people actually talking on their phones during the concert (plebs), but the guy next to me was drunk and started singing along to 'Lately'.
Now... Stevie W is for me one of the greatest vocalists of all time and I love the song. Imagine how I felt after paying £100 a ticket and travelling 100 miles to hear some tone deaf drunken philistine drowning out the Man.
I decided then, never again would I go to a big gig , not if I cared about the music.
I believe most people go to those type of stadium/arena gigs just to say "I was there" and couldn't really care less about the music.
People HUH!!
Not only were some people actually talking on their phones during the concert (plebs), but the guy next to me was drunk and started singing along to 'Lately'.
Now... Stevie W is for me one of the greatest vocalists of all time and I love the song. Imagine how I felt after paying £100 a ticket and travelling 100 miles to hear some tone deaf drunken philistine drowning out the Man.
I decided then, never again would I go to a big gig , not if I cared about the music.
I believe most people go to those type of stadium/arena gigs just to say "I was there" and couldn't really care less about the music.
People HUH!!
never been really bothered by people coughing at concerts - but at this one violin recital three people behind me became really annoying. To start with they talked loudly about one of them having played in an orchestra once and kept their conversation going after the lights were down and the conductor had entered the podium. Fortunately the applause drowned their voices a little so it wasn't audible to the whole audience, but after the applause while the conductor was preparing the first orchestral number, I heard one very loud voice right behind me: "What instrument did you say you were playing?" I was embarrassed on their behalf... They didn't talk more during the performance although one of the men seemed to have a lung condition, he was wheezing all the time, it sometimes sounded like snoring. However at one point I turned sideways enough to see in the corner of my eyes if he was sleeping and he was not.:lol: I suppose he couldn't help it but it was still a little distracting. Luckily the violinist that night, Henning Kraggerud, thinks it important to abandon the "strict" rules of a classical audience. He once said he'd want people to throw tomatoes at him if they didn't like it, as long as they didn't just sit there passively.
They didn't talk more during the performance although one of the men seemed to have a lung condition, he was wheezing all the time, it sometimes sounded like snoring. However at one point I turned sideways enough to see in the corner of my eyes if he was sleeping and he was not.:lol: I suppose he couldn't help it but it was still a little distracting. Luckily the violinist that night, Henning Kraggerud, thinks it important to abandon the "strict" rules of a classical audience. He once said he'd want people to throw tomatoes at him if they didn't like it, as long as they didn't just sit there passively.
Is that Kurwenal! He! from Tristan by chance?
It's a good thing, for their sake, that no cougher was seated next to us during Tristan. I'd have gone from 0 to Hannibal Lecter in 3.1sec; they'd have been spreadeagle on the curtain :lol: I love Furtwanger's Ring, but has anyone else noticed the incessant coughing in the background? Drives me crazy considering who's conducting, not to mention the cast.
You know what bug me even more than coughing though?
BAILERS! Those are the j***a**es that don't even applaud at curtain call, and then force you out of their way because they insist on getting to their cars before everyone else. Hate that.
It's a good thing, for their sake, that no cougher was seated next to us during Tristan. I'd have gone from 0 to Hannibal Lecter in 3.1sec; they'd have been spreadeagle on the curtain :lol: I love Furtwanger's Ring, but has anyone else noticed the incessant coughing in the background? Drives me crazy considering who's conducting, not to mention the cast.
You know what bug me even more than coughing though?
BAILERS! Those are the j***a**es that don't even applaud at curtain call, and then force you out of their way because they insist on getting to their cars before everyone else. Hate that.
I guess I've tuned out distractions like this when I'm playing a concert. Recently, I played an organ concert in Denmark and apparently there were audience noises during the program, which I didn't hear until after I got home and listened to the recording. Wonder if is the same for other performers?
Now, when attending a concert, I am very annoyed by people talking, wheezing and such. At one live theater venue we like to attend at home, the general announcement before the play begins goes something like this: "If you need to unwrap any hard candy, please do it now!"
Of course, there is always some moron who's mobile phone rings ... and of course they let it ring and ring and ring and ring ... grrrr.
Kh
Now, when attending a concert, I am very annoyed by people talking, wheezing and such. At one live theater venue we like to attend at home, the general announcement before the play begins goes something like this: "If you need to unwrap any hard candy, please do it now!"
Of course, there is always some moron who's mobile phone rings ... and of course they let it ring and ring and ring and ring ... grrrr.
Kh
Coughing has never bothered me that much - but I absolutely HATE people who bring babies and toddlers to concerts - very very distracting. I always turn my mobile phone to silent before the performance, seems most people do the same. I have only been to one concert where somebody's phone went off. I also hate people who talk while the music is playing - haven't experienced this often, but when it happens, it's really annoying...
I am a bit on the fence on this one. I also enjoy a performance with as little as possible distraction (not emminating from the stage or pit) as anyone... HOWEVER...
it is important to ensure that concert or opera attendees, who are NOT familiar with unwritten audience etiquette feel comfortable and at ease... I'd rather someone enjoy their first opera performance as well as their candy, than not have that person go to the opera at all.
I was often taken to concerts and opera as a toddler, and I'm sure I was not always on my best behavior (I'm sure I often fell asleep, too) , but I am glad that I had the experiences.
Centuries ago, in the concert hall, applauding after movements, or even during pieces, was expected. Composers such as Beethoven ended first movements with potent cadences designed to incite applause. Brahms is reported to have complained about the lack of applause between movements when his Piano Concerto No. 1 premiered.
It was not until the later 20th century that the pervading customs of silence at all costs, appear to have been set.
Previously, it was acceptable (even expected) to play cards in the opera, chat with your neighbors, have a snack, or gamble with dice.
I've been to many-a performance with a cough, and tried to minimize my coughing (as did many people around me- remember, Opera season often coincides with flu season)... and it ain't always easy!
So I think we need to be careful about jumping on the high horse of morale and elitism. If the composer probably would not have minded a candy wrapper or two, why should anyone else ?
My $ 0.02.
PS: when I purchase a "live" recording- I want to hear some audience noises... it gives me more of a feeling of having been there, too...
it is important to ensure that concert or opera attendees, who are NOT familiar with unwritten audience etiquette feel comfortable and at ease... I'd rather someone enjoy their first opera performance as well as their candy, than not have that person go to the opera at all.
I was often taken to concerts and opera as a toddler, and I'm sure I was not always on my best behavior (I'm sure I often fell asleep, too) , but I am glad that I had the experiences.
Centuries ago, in the concert hall, applauding after movements, or even during pieces, was expected. Composers such as Beethoven ended first movements with potent cadences designed to incite applause. Brahms is reported to have complained about the lack of applause between movements when his Piano Concerto No. 1 premiered.
It was not until the later 20th century that the pervading customs of silence at all costs, appear to have been set.
Previously, it was acceptable (even expected) to play cards in the opera, chat with your neighbors, have a snack, or gamble with dice.
I've been to many-a performance with a cough, and tried to minimize my coughing (as did many people around me- remember, Opera season often coincides with flu season)... and it ain't always easy!
So I think we need to be careful about jumping on the high horse of morale and elitism. If the composer probably would not have minded a candy wrapper or two, why should anyone else ?
My $ 0.02.
PS: when I purchase a "live" recording- I want to hear some audience noises... it gives me more of a feeling of having been there, too...
I was at a recital once and the man behind me sounded like he had a respiratory condition, he constantly uttered grunts and wheezes that sounded like snoring although he wasn't sleeping (I actually half turned around once to check). It was a strange situation and sounded pretty loud through the cello/piano from the stage.
And whatever would we do without those in the audience who seem to think that overtures were written to provide accompaniment for their idiotic blather? Of course, we're fortunate if they confine themselves to jabbering only during the overture. At a Met performance I attended several years ago, I had the misfortune of being seated next to a trio of blabbermouths who continued their whispered chattering even while the singers were performing. Evil looks from a gentleman seated in the row in front of us would only silence them for a stretch of about 10 minutes before the yacking would resume. Considering that el Guapo was one of the singers that evening, they're probably lucky to have made it out of Lincoln Center alive . . . At several times during the course of the evening, I also had to fight to suppress a cough of my own, triggered by the overpoweringly sweet perfume with which at least one member of this trio had liberally doused herself before coming to the opera house.
At several times during the course of the evening, I also had to fight to suppress a cough of my own, triggered by the overpoweringly sweet perfume with which at least one member of this trio had liberally doused herself before coming to the opera house.
My worst experience was (sitting in a loge) when a lady before me got up and went out to cough. This in the most exciting scene of Billy Budd. I was like: "Bitch, you come back and sit on your **** SILENTLY and QUICKLY before the pwnage or I'll punch you HARDER than Billy does with Claggart!"
She came back in time. I was so afraid she'd block my sight at the worst moment.
She came back in time.
I was so afraid she'd block my sight at the worst moment.
The jazz musician Keith Jarrett has been known to stop his performance to admonish the audience to make less noise. If this didn't work to his satisfaction, he would simply exit the stage and not return.
The young and rather unwashed woman with the i-Phone, vodka bottle, plastic bottle of water, and juicy nectarines, all of which were noisily/brightly consumed during the second half of a recent performance of Xerxes in Auckland, is defenitely the worst behaved audience member I have ever sat next to. I'd have killed for a simple cougher.
An article I wrote on the subject:
Mobile phones and bodily functions at the opera
Why is it that I haven't been to a single opera (or theatre piece, concert or cinema for that matter) in the past few years without at least one phone going off at some point - or having to sit next to someone couching or sneezing in my ear?
Mobile phones
The type of ringtone gives you an over-all idea who doesn't switch their phones off. That annoying, standard Nokia ringtone indicates someone who only has a mobile phone because they've been forced to, don't really use it, it never rings, they don't know how to switch it (or the sound) off, and no harm done. Trouble is, this is Sod's Law, so of course it rings. Because they don't really use their phone more than once a month, then they have to go looking for it in order to find it and find the right button to press it.
Then you have the loud iPhone sound that will belong to some (in their own head) super-important person who just cannot miss a call. Never mind the person in the middle of an aria up there, trying to convey deep emotion. This is also the person most likely to actually pick up the phone and go, "Helloooo? I'm at the opera, can I call you back?"
A recent example was when I was in a church listening to a St John Passion. Halfway through an iPhone ringtone that sounded like a fire siren went off, causing everyone to look around to see if we should leave. It stopped, so we stayed put. At the very end, after the soloists were done, the chorus had delivered their final piece, the conductor was pleased and turned around to get his applause - what surfaced in between that and the applause? That's right. The infamous Nokia ringtone. Dudu-lulu-dudu-lulu-dudu-lululu.
The whole idea of not turning at least the sound of your mobile phone off is rude, selfish and disrespectful to the performers and the rest of the audience. If you can't live without your phone for three hours, then maybe you shouldn't be going to the opera at all.
Performers like Kevin Spacey has been known to stop mid-performance if a phone goes off and fire off a comment to the idiot whose phone is ringing. And ringing. And ringing. "Tell them we're busy!" is one - whereas the threat to throw out the next person with a ringing phone might be more effective.
Bodily functions
I too realise that sometimes you have to sneeze and sometimes your throat tickles so badly you have to cough. I get it. However, does it have to be done so damn loud?
Most people over the age of four can control the volume of their sneezes by putting their face into the fold of their arm. Seriously. There is just no reason to ever go aaaaaaaaatschaaaaaaah!!! in the most quiet, fragile moment of someone's performance. Show a little bit of finesse. You're at the opera. People are trying to do their jobs. The audience is trying to get dragged into what those individuals on the stage are doing. You're not sitting in front of your telly. Worth remembering.
The coughing. It seems to be an overall problem, especially after the first interval. People have had their cigarettes and their wine, and realise fairly quickly their throats are dry. This may sound like an impossible, revolutionary idea, but there's actually a cure for this. It's a thing called water. If you drink red wine, your throat gets dry and itchy. It's just how it is. Water, people. Water.
The last thing is smoking, which is - first of all - bad for you and - second of all - generally disgusting, but if you need to do it, at least bring either mints or a piece of gum back in with you. Sitting next to someone who stinks of nicotine and spends the next 45 minutes coughing in your ear at regular intervals is just… very annoying.
What can I do to be less annoying at the opera?
- Turn off your mobile phone - or if you don't know how to do that, leave it at home. You're not that important.
- Bring a water bottle into the auditorium - or if you can't, bring something to soothe the throat, like mints or gum.
- Think volume if you need to sneeze - use a buffer. An arm works fine. We don't all need to hear you, there's enough entertainment on the stage to please us.
- If you smoke, chew a mint and/or gum before returning to the auditorium because - newsflash - you stink.
- If you can't follow these simple rules, rent a DVD and stay at home.
Mobile phones and bodily functions at the opera
Why is it that I haven't been to a single opera (or theatre piece, concert or cinema for that matter) in the past few years without at least one phone going off at some point - or having to sit next to someone couching or sneezing in my ear?
Mobile phones
The type of ringtone gives you an over-all idea who doesn't switch their phones off. That annoying, standard Nokia ringtone indicates someone who only has a mobile phone because they've been forced to, don't really use it, it never rings, they don't know how to switch it (or the sound) off, and no harm done. Trouble is, this is Sod's Law, so of course it rings. Because they don't really use their phone more than once a month, then they have to go looking for it in order to find it and find the right button to press it.
Then you have the loud iPhone sound that will belong to some (in their own head) super-important person who just cannot miss a call. Never mind the person in the middle of an aria up there, trying to convey deep emotion. This is also the person most likely to actually pick up the phone and go, "Helloooo? I'm at the opera, can I call you back?"
A recent example was when I was in a church listening to a St John Passion. Halfway through an iPhone ringtone that sounded like a fire siren went off, causing everyone to look around to see if we should leave. It stopped, so we stayed put. At the very end, after the soloists were done, the chorus had delivered their final piece, the conductor was pleased and turned around to get his applause - what surfaced in between that and the applause? That's right. The infamous Nokia ringtone. Dudu-lulu-dudu-lulu-dudu-lululu.
The whole idea of not turning at least the sound of your mobile phone off is rude, selfish and disrespectful to the performers and the rest of the audience. If you can't live without your phone for three hours, then maybe you shouldn't be going to the opera at all.
Performers like Kevin Spacey has been known to stop mid-performance if a phone goes off and fire off a comment to the idiot whose phone is ringing. And ringing. And ringing. "Tell them we're busy!" is one - whereas the threat to throw out the next person with a ringing phone might be more effective.
Bodily functions
I too realise that sometimes you have to sneeze and sometimes your throat tickles so badly you have to cough. I get it. However, does it have to be done so damn loud?
Most people over the age of four can control the volume of their sneezes by putting their face into the fold of their arm. Seriously. There is just no reason to ever go aaaaaaaaatschaaaaaaah!!! in the most quiet, fragile moment of someone's performance. Show a little bit of finesse. You're at the opera. People are trying to do their jobs. The audience is trying to get dragged into what those individuals on the stage are doing. You're not sitting in front of your telly. Worth remembering.
The coughing. It seems to be an overall problem, especially after the first interval. People have had their cigarettes and their wine, and realise fairly quickly their throats are dry. This may sound like an impossible, revolutionary idea, but there's actually a cure for this. It's a thing called water. If you drink red wine, your throat gets dry and itchy. It's just how it is. Water, people. Water.
The last thing is smoking, which is - first of all - bad for you and - second of all - generally disgusting, but if you need to do it, at least bring either mints or a piece of gum back in with you. Sitting next to someone who stinks of nicotine and spends the next 45 minutes coughing in your ear at regular intervals is just… very annoying.
What can I do to be less annoying at the opera?
- Turn off your mobile phone - or if you don't know how to do that, leave it at home. You're not that important.
- Bring a water bottle into the auditorium - or if you can't, bring something to soothe the throat, like mints or gum.
- Think volume if you need to sneeze - use a buffer. An arm works fine. We don't all need to hear you, there's enough entertainment on the stage to please us.
- If you smoke, chew a mint and/or gum before returning to the auditorium because - newsflash - you stink.
- If you can't follow these simple rules, rent a DVD and stay at home.
Just bring a water bottle anyway. A half-liter bottle can be put in a handbag (tiny bags are bad anyway: you need to put in glasses if you need them, opera glasses, tissues, a camera if you are to hunt down singers after performance, and TONS of other things if you happen to be a woman...)
As for candy: getting them out of their cover is LOUD!
As for candy: getting them out of their cover is LOUD!
Since we're venting . . .
That's not music! That's just noise! And why do they have to play it so LOUD! Hey you kids, get off of my lawn!!!
Sorry . . . a little off topic, but I do feel better now.
That's not music! That's just noise! And why do they have to play it so LOUD! Hey you kids, get off of my lawn!!!
Sorry . . . a little off topic, but I do feel better now.
Think twice before offering this advice. At the last opera I was at once of the more annoying habits my neighbour demonstrated was sucking loudly and resonantly from plastic water bottles so that they collapsed and then gave off a triumphant crack as the air rushed back into them when she removed them from her lips. Worse than any cough.
It's also very unpleasant when you look aside and see that person sitting next to you is looking directly at you through binoculars so you look at him/her the same way and he/she is not that tough anymore but he/she rubs your boot with his/her boot which is all in mud so you do the same and when yo do it he/she smiles and suddenly hits you into the snout and you fall down and loose your hat which lands two steps from you. You stand up and try put it back but when you reach it he/she reaches for revolver and shot at your hat so it flies a few metres back, so you go there and again try to put it back on your head but he/she shots again and it repeats six times before he/she is out of bullets so you take you hat and calmly put it on you head. He/she didn't have time to reload the gun so you suddenly take out your revolver with much longer barrel and shot his/her hat off of his/her head and before it falls on the ground you shot it in the air so it flies even higher and you keep shooting at it and flies higher and further by every shot until you're out of bullets too and therefore he/she sees that you're tougher. But meanwhile the scene or two passed so it's not desired situation in opera - yet happens to us all so often.
The other unpleasant opera behavior is when someone strikes a match on your braces to light his cigar.
The other unpleasant opera behavior is when someone strikes a match on your braces to light his cigar.
What are you doing wearing a hat at the opera? How is the person sitting behind supposed to see? I'd shoot it off too.
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